What triggers limerence Richard Cookerly says that in the beginning limerence often “starts as a nearly imperceptible set of feelings of mild attraction which can grow into enormous intensity making people think they are very much in love. J. I break down what causes these emoti Feb 22, 2017 · In the last post, I argued that there is an initiating "glimmer": a frisson of excitement, that acts as an indicator that a particular person you have just encountered has the potential to become an LO. by Aakriti Kalla. Limerence crosses that line in potentially dangerous ways. Dec 27, 2024 · Limerence is a complex emotional experience characterized by intense romantic attraction and obsessive thoughts. 8. Several different models have been used to describe the stages of limerence, typically ranging from three to seven stages. Apr 19, 2021 · Someone who experiences limerence will become obsessed with the LO, to the point of making life-changing decisions, such as ending a marriage. See full list on happyproject. As previously noted, a simplistic reading of the situation is that the symptoms of Jan 4, 2025 · ADHD limerence may have several causes, including various forms of childhood trauma, like neglect and abuse. Notes. Oct 10, 2024 · What causes limerence anyway? Copy link. ee/patrickteahanJoin the healing community membership:https://www. Limerence is defined by an intense infatuation of a romantic partner where affection may or may not be reciprocated. Relational Psychotherapist Dr. That is the difference between love and limerence. Limerence, though, is more inward-looking. Mar 18, 2024 · Limerence has been blowing up on TikTok with questions like, “what triggers limerence?” and “what are the symptoms of limerence?” and most importantly, “what’s the difference between limerence versus love?” We had our dating writer interview two therapists for answers. This individual’s feelings toward the person with limerence are typically unclear. Identifying its symptoms and causes may help you manage its effects. Before I understood what it was, I told them how mystifying that I continued to struggle. Shared experiences can also trigger limerence. If you experience a life-changing event with someone, it not only brings you closer to the person but also triggers limerence. LO = limerent object (the person that limerence is focussed on) Since limerence is the desire to be desired, it is a cognitive, as well as physical, and emotional experience. Limerence is a mental state people describe as being madly in love and is an obsessive attraction to a new person. Limerence is an intense experience, and it causes people to act out. Dec 29, 2024 · What Triggers Limerence? 8 Possible Causes and How to Get Over It. love vs. Dating as a Single Mom: The Lessons Learned . This post aims to elucidate what limerence is, share a personal experience that… Limerence is for the initial attraction and passionate desire to mate. By understanding the root causes, you can develop healthier coping mechanisms. When experiencing limerence, some people will give away their money, get married very quickly, and even ditch their family and friends. An explanation of terms for the uninitiated: LE = limerent experience/episode (a period in which a limerent is beset by limerence). ” Agree, but the factors the Universe would have to line up for it to happen are almost impossible (particuarly after one gets much older than about 30). ” Feb 14, 2024 · Welcome to a comprehensive exploration of limerence, where we unveil the hidden triggers behind this intense form of romantic attachment. While also breaking the cycle of obsessive thoughts and behaviors. Possible evidence for this comes from teenagers. It seems that there is some sort of blueprint deeply integrated into each limerent's psyche that the subconscious mind May 22, 2024 · Limerence can drastically impact your life, often stemming from deeper unresolved issues such as childhood trauma. Often, limerence is considered to be a sign of an anxious attachment style, which may lead a person to crave and obsessively seek attention, love, and healing. This wholesale shift in psychology demands some explanation. by Sian Roelofsz. Being in love means wanting the other person to thrive, and to help them do that. Something would trigger it. “Sometimes … May 28, 2019 · What Causes Limerence? Limerence is complex and often stems from a combination of emotional, psychological, and sometimes even biological factors. Another last factor to be aware of is that some manipulative people can use these techniques to “pace” your emotions or test the strength of your regard for them. Jan 3, 2025 · Unlike a healthy romantic connection, limerence usually involves excessive daydreaming and extreme highs and lows that hinge on small signs from the person who triggers these powerful feelings. Lots of them together begins to looks like a pattern. If your typical LO is emotionally avoidant, and makes you feel insecure (which might match the pattern of your family background) then that would likely Feb 24, 2017 · What makes someone a potential limerent object? What special something tickles the arousal circuitry in just the right way to trigger escalating limerence? It may be a fool's errand to try and untangle this particular knot, but it's fun to try. Email. Limerence is the initial drive to spend enough time with someone to fall in love. Still, there are two things to take into account on what causes limerence: Sep 22, 2024 · The Perfect Storm: What Triggers Limerence? The causes and triggers of limerence are as complex and varied as human beings themselves. Sep 7, 2023 · If you're grappling with the bewildering experience of your partner's limerence for someone else, this video is for you. Jul 28, 2024 · Do you or someone you know is suffering from limerence? But why does limerence happen? Learn about the six main limerence triggers so you can help avoid the unpleasant feelings they bring. Love (hopefully!) comes later with more oxytocin exposure, and leads to a desire to stick around and raise the kids. Mar 13, 2024 · Understanding Triggers and Patterns . . What Causes Limerence in Relationships? Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash. Oct 11, 2024 · Limerence vs. The person tries to hide their interest in the idealized limerent object while seeking to interpret potential signs of emotional reciprocation (Tennov, 1979). Relationship limerence is frequently brought on by a complex interaction of biological, psychological, and environmental variables. Aug 29, 2024 · There’s a thin line between love and obsession. While limerence can feel exhilarating and euphoric, it can also be all-consuming and distressing. In this article, we will delve deep into the psychology of limerence, exposing the factors that contribute to its onset. Serial Jan 14, 2023 · Any of these clues individually are innocuous and could be explained by plenty of causes other than limerence. Let’s examine the similarities: Love, limerence and lust all involve intense emotions related to desire for another person Dec 28, 2024 · What Triggers Limerence? 8 Possible Causes and How to Get Over It. Some possible causes include: Unmet Emotional Needs Sometimes, limerence arises when we feel a lack of emotional connection or validation in our lives. In limerence, physiological states of excitement and fear co-mingle with paranoid expressions. When we have limerence, we want the other person because we idealize them and think it’ll solve something within us. It is influenced by psychological, biological, and social factors. a crush: What’s the difference? It may be confusing to tell when you’re experiencing limerence vs. Limerence is often related to trauma and attachment disorders that may be Aug 29, 2024 · There’s a thin line between love and obsession. I hope that moving forward, I am now armed with insight that will prevent me from drifting too far, knowing what it may lead to. Dating Advice. Unlike mere infatuation or sexual attraction, limerence is the desire for a profound emotional bond, mutual understanding, and acknowledgment from their limerent object. Jun 10, 2023 · “So, in conclusion, long-term love after mutual limerence is possible, but it depends on factors that are totally unrelated to the causes of limerence. Aug 29, 2024 · There’s a thin line between love and obsession. Usually a memory or something that reminded me of LO. Explaining limerence seemed to liberate me in Mar 17, 2019 · The trigger of her leaving immediately ignited the limerence. It’s an extreme mix of highs and lows involving anxiety, uncertainty, and despair. By focusing only on the cherry-picked traits and behaviors of the limerent object, every other aspect of the limerent object is perceived to be positive and special. This causes a great deal of suffering and time spent thinking about or planning ways to see the limerent object (LO). The experience of limerence is different from love or lust in that it is based on the uncertainty that the person you desire, Aug 15, 2024 · Limerence often unfolds in a series of stages, each with its own unique characteristics and emotional triggers. Beyond that it is hard to identify definite patterns – romantic obsession strikes Feb 10, 2024 · One of the commonest situations where limerence becomes a destructive force in life is when it happens within the confines of a marriage. Limerence appears to be more common in introverts, during adolescence, and in midlife. Feb 6, 2024 · Limerence feels like an obsessive, addictive, confusing, and destabilizing emotional state focused on an unattainable object of desire. The primary researchers have asserted that if a person meets your criteria & there’s uncertainty, it starts the cycle of intermittent reinforcement, similar to addiction, which fuels that dopamine surge anytime we get a “hit. In true love, you feel secure and calm, even when facing conflicts together. Yikes, limerence for boss is a tough one – no contact is not really an option! If your boss is a counsellor, he should be well aware of professional boundaries, but I confess to being a little taken aback by the number of emails I get from therapy professionals who seem to think that they are immune to the problems that they counsel clients on. Feb 14, 2024 · Limerence is a word used to describe an experience of infatuation and obsession that can create feelings similar to what occurs when someone is falling in love. Apr 21, 2024 · Limerence is a complex emotional state involving an intense and often overwhelming desire for an emotional connection with another person, hoping deeply for those feelings to be reciprocated. Jul 28, 2024 · Limerence has been compared to OCD and substance use disorder, as it shares features of both. Jun 4, 2019 · Infatuation, euphoria, and limerence Reward is driven by dopamine. Apr 3, 2024 · During the limerence phase, the intense focus on the limerent object triggers the brain’s attachment system leading to a strong desire to form a secure bond with the partner. May 29, 2021 · It was bizarre. Jan 5, 2025 · 7. Oct 12, 2019 · It sounds like you’ve done a lot of good work already on getting to the root of your limerence triggers. Initially, high dopamine causes intense pleasure. It kept happening. This is the basis of the "dopamine high" that triggers euphoria, and this neural system exists Aug 11, 2024 · In limerence, you may see the person as an idea or concept and focus more on your idea of them rather than who they really are. If someone forced me to answer this question in just three words, my short and simple answe Distinct from love (as it is traditionally understood), or lust, limerence is a concept pioneered by psychologist Dorothy Tennov's seminal research as described in her book, "Love and Limerence. Limerence can be caused by mental health disorders such as OCD and addiction, attachment wounds, or Oct 3, 2020 · Limerence is an altered mental state. Understanding the causes of limerence can help individuals navigate their feelings and relationships more effectively. No one can control other people. Unresolved emotional problems from previous relationships or upbringing are among the prevalent reasons of limerence. Therapists can assist in identifying the triggers and patterns that fuel limerence. 2. Limerence is not something that you can plan and there is no direct cause on what causes limerence, or, at least, not yet. Jul 3, 2022 · What causes limerence? Here, is the short and simple explanation. Apr 12, 2018 · Is it possible to rebuild trust in a relationship after an affair? Dr David Perl, specialist couples psychotherapist and founder of LoveRelations, believes this is one of the biggest challenges a couple faces. Dec 15, 2024 · 2. in May 22, 2024 · Limerence is an intense infatuation characterized by an obsessive longing for another. Mar 19, 2022 · The key processes involved in limerence are reward (powered by dopamine), arousal (powered by noradrenaline) and bonding (powered by oxytocin). Some psychologists believe that we’re all born with an innate drive towards limerence. Often, limerence results in an affair, leaving many partners wondering how does limerence end? Limerence ends as brain chemicals adjust. There are some correlations between limerents and LOs that seem too common to be Apr 24, 2023 · Limerence vs Love: The Similarities and Differences . Dec 31, 2024 · In limerence, you may struggle with obsession and anxiety about the relationship’s status. This obviously makes good sense, because limerence is clearly a mental state focused to an extraordinary degree on trying to secure romantic attachment. The sense of knowing each other and feeling a connection can lead to limerence. It is really important, though, to emphasize that limerence is ultimately a personal problem. When in limerence, your body increases its levels of dopamine – which is the hormone that dictates feelings of pleasure and happiness. May 22, 2024 · Limerence is an intense infatuation characterized by an obsessive longing for another. The halo effect is common. I’ve explained limerence to two people, both of whom knew about my struggle to get past LO. In limerence, your attraction is often based on idealization, while true love thrives on acceptance. " This sub is a community of people who self-identify as being in the state of limerence and are looking for support and strategies to deal with it. I think the experience is more dopamine-related, plus probably some oxytocin since limerence is often related to attachment/romance. May 16, 2024 · We're going to look at how limerence, which is a powerful state of intense infatuation and obsession, ends. Limerence is a state of involuntary obsession with another person. The limerent individual experiences this effect. Lots of other systems get involved too, but that is the core triad. Unsurprisingly, I've written about this scenario many times in the past, but it is still the commonest problem raised in my email inbox by some margin. This may result in Jul 24, 2021 · One of the commonest ways of interpreting limerence is to view it through the lens of attachment theory. Psychological factors play a significant role, with past experiences, attachment styles, and personal insecurities all contributing to the likelihood of developing limerent feelings. Limerence may turn into love, but it takes reciprocated feelings from both partners and an acknowledgement that the limerence was just one phase of their developing relationship. p Nov 13, 2024 · Limerence was defined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov as a state of romantic obsession, wherein the individual is fixated on achieving emotional reciprocity from their object of affection. Distinct from love (as it is traditionally understood), or lust, limerence is a concept pioneered by psychologist Dorothy Tennov's seminal research as described in her book, "Love and Limerence. A psychologist explains what limerence is, what causes it and what to do about it. More. What causes limerence anyway? The debate around childhood trauma, neurodivergence, and attachment. That means its origin lies in our brains, and in the neurochemistry that regulates our perceptions and emotions. Facebook. This rollercoaster can tire you out because you experience emotional extremes that shift rapidly. “Over a third of the couples who come to LoveRelations are seeking help after the discovery of an affair” says David. Posted by u/Shouseedee - 23 votes and 8 comments Distinct from love (as it is traditionally understood), or lust, limerence is a concept pioneered by psychologist Dorothy Tennov's seminal research as described in her book, "Love and Limerence. Join us as we shine a light on what truly causes limerence. This often causes the spell to break, and the limerent person to move on with Learn more about Patrick Teahan,Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings ️ https://linktr. Mar 19, 2022 · Limerence is an altered mental state of intense infatuation, caused by neurochemistry, personal history, and the behaviour of the limerent object. being in love or simply having a strong crush that includes lust. Sometimes the issues are simple. The early relationship and closeness WAS the issue, even though things seemed “safe”. Yes, there are certain behaviors that external people can practice that are more likely to trigger limerent episodes within people, but ultimately the groundwork for limerence is already there. Jun 17, 2022 · What causes limerence? Limerence is usually caused by some sort of positive feeling that you get from the person you have feelings for – who is sometimes referred to as the “limerent object”. Dec 9, 2018 · Hi Kate, and welcome. Dec 4, 2021 · Limerence is an altered mental state in which a romantic obsession becomes the central, inescapable, focus of life and causes a profound change in emotional stability. Learn how limerence works, what triggers it, and how to cope with it. Your worry is understandable – I guess it comes down to who you become limerent for. Jan 19, 2024 · Limerence is an overwhelming obsession in which a person longs for someone who does not return their affection. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov first coined the word limerence in the 1970s after conducting over 300 interviews of individuals’ experiences of romantic love. May 7, 2022 · It is difficult to estimate the number of people that succumb to the life-disrupting infatuation of limerence, but the best guess at present is about 5% of the population. In Jul 6, 2021 · In this review, we focus on four major theories or models, outlined in Table 1, that have attempted to explain what causes feelings of romantic passion: Limerence Theory (Tennov, 1979), the Rate of Change in Intimacy Model (Baumeister & Bratslavsky, 1999), the Self-Expansion Model (Aron & Aron, 1986), and the Triangular Theory Love (Sternberg May 3, 2022 · Limerence, Love and the Emotional Affair. Shared experiences limerence. Although direct research on limerence is very limited, we know a lot about the neuroscience of emotions and addiction, which offers a very good grounding for understanding the neuroscience of person What Causes Limerence? Limerence is still a relatively unexplored concept, but research suggests that it stems from a mixture of personality traits, biological predispositions, and attachment styles. Neurochemically, limerence Distinct from love (as it is traditionally understood), or lust, limerence is a concept pioneered by psychologist Dorothy Tennov's seminal research as described in her book, "Love and Limerence. A wayward's relationship with AP(s), being positive and intense attraction, sees only the prize but not the price they have to pay for that. One experiencing limerence might say they've never felt this intensely about anyone before. Relationships are filled with fights, love, attraction, anger, arguments and knowing each other's flaws. Finally, consider how you view the future. Another common sign of limerence in relationships is the halo effect. How the limerent object reacts Jan 24, 2024 · Limerence involves an obsessive infatuation with a specific person. It often causes someone to leave a committed relationship or marriage for the limerent object. 6 days ago · Love is generous, and limerence is more about yourself. bhczy hnvt bijqb wicay wtqbww tagb fvluug cmraa jvlhbmjx myjglkd