What to do if you have feelings for someone reddit. For starters, there's the physical aspect.
What to do if you have feelings for someone reddit Just because you develop feelings for someone, have a crush, or like someone doesn’t mean you need to stop seeing them, tell them, try to start a relationship etc. If I have feelings for someone, then I will have feelings for him for life. For starters, there's the physical aspect. I don't know if you or someone you know has dealt with toxic behavior before, and I wish you Developing feelings for someone else isn't cheating. good people forgive. Learning to express emotions authentically isn't always easy, but a therapist can help. Liking someone's personality means you enjoy hanging out with them. I won't date someone unless I am already interested in them, attracted to them, excited about them, and feeling some kind of way about them. Butterflies in your stomach, extreme emotions, constantly thinking about the other Yeah, rarely do I have to turn my face back when greeting someone just to hide my expression of disgust that they came. Its fine to be low key, but I'm left wondering how authentic you've been when pursuing the things you want. People want to be touched by people that they're attracted to, and often will try to position themselves closer than "normal. This is extremely personal honestly. I did this in my teen years. i found myself being jealous even if i didn’t have a crush on that person but felt a kinda “connection” with them. i'm not a counselor, but i think you just need not to worry about hurting other people, just speak your mind, most people i've interacted through out my life we're not made of crystal. ” Having strong romantic feelings is like having a cold, you can do things to lessen the pain, and ultimately it won’t hurt you that much I am very happy to report it is just: don’t try to be something you think someone else wants. What do you mean? Ok, you don't know how feelings work, so let me illuminate you. The best thing to do is learn to be patient and exercise introspection to find out the root of it all. This is outright wrong and If you want to be more than friend with someone, you need to either tell them (if they're single) or find ways to move on from those feelings, which, in some cases, does mean ending the So, you know that this person has got you feeling something. Don't think people want to lose the feeling of love necessarily but more so don't want to have feelings for a specific person and want to get rid of them asap. If you intend to build meaningful relationships with other people, you should pay attention to how they feel. The fact you have forgiven someone, I think, should be a surprise to you, when you wake up one day and realise that those feelings have settled and you have truly moved on, but it can't be forced. I simply provided an example of the difference between when someone might play with your feelings and when they are not. Do I actually like her or am I just lonely? Also, probably moving to People of Reddit, how do you know have caught feelings for someone, and what are usually the first things you notice about yourself when you do catch feelings? Archived post. I mean, if there’s a way to cut someone off because you have feelings that won’t go away I suppose that he went about it in the kindest way to not make it my problem. He was suicidal even before he confessed to you, and I don't think the thoughts would have just poofed away even if you had returned his feelings. There are 2 types of "feelings" you can have for another and The first step is identify each: : 1-Instictive: this is what Totally in agreement with those possibilities too. Enjoying someone’s company while feeling “meh” about the romantic things is called a “friend. BUT, we broke up because we weren't happy Agreed. Ask questions such as: – Is it a purely sexual attraction or are you experiencing lust towards this person? – Are you craving physical con Here’s are some things to consider when you’ve caught feelings for your friend. If your goal is to possibly have a romantic relationship, “never tell them how you feel” isn’t really viable. hopefully treating yourself to some good stuff, if your relationship is already making you feel bad/sad. I feel as you do, that sex is something you both should act on after you already have feelings, and are in good standing emotionally. Both of our ideas of what we wanted for our future didn’t change and there were big differences in I don't think it was pointless, but maybe it's not naturally suited to r/cmv. Most of us have been there. You don’t know her from an atom, and you already have “feelings” for her. If you’re not attracted to him, it’s ok, and you don’t have to continue to see him. It’s hard to work on being your best self when you want to make others happy so you’ll have a partner, but it I can immediately get rid of those infatuation feelings for someone and move on like they never existed but with this guy, those feelings NEVER went away like I thought it would, even when he was a total jerk sometimes and even ended our friendship at the time If you do, make sure your date or SO understands you're still going through an agonizing breakup and occasionally might say things that will hurt you both. "Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. View the attraction in the context of your life. But, if you’re in a relationship, you’re probably hiding these feelings away rather than facing up to them and examining them. This is not a bad thing. You can feel good without her. Just that I find it’s enough time for me to get a Most people like the idea of feeling chemistry early on and making a decision based on that because it saves us from wasting time, but it's also entirely possible to build feelings for someone over time even if the spark isn't there initially. There have been people I wanted, but felt like we weren’t right for each other, so I would just stay friends without opening that can of worms. It is when those feeling are acted upon in a manner that would be perceived as inappropriate. Meet other girls. You acknowledge that you sensed something other than a platonic friendship with this person initially, and then continued to explore that to the point of holding hours long conversations with this person when you should have been spending hours And then, because of that growth, you appreciate however you changed as a person, and you realize you could not have grown in this particular way if your life had been any bit different, so there are no more wishes of an alternate reality, no more feelings of regret or rejecting your past self. A hobby, a sport, meet other people. You can be in love with someone and if If I’m going to develop feelings, I do know if the potential to feel that way is there by the end of the first date. It's not fair to them if I'm not. ” And just because I have gotten in the habit of asking people if they have space for it in the moment. I don't want you to turn out like me, is all. I think all feelings are “real”, but not all feelings are permanent or unchanging. Recently a 4 month relationship with a girl just ended, she ended it because she told me she wanted to have these "romantic feelings" about me, which she did not have. 40 votes, 58 comments. It’s critical to know if this is a quick Relationships change with time, and sometimes it's normal to lose feelings in a relationship. Thats the beauty of life. Realistically, that’s how guys have been when I mention my bf. you can also start by asking them if there’s anything they want to get off their chest first. There are things that you want from a woman and sometimes you get it and sometimes you dont. A part of you will always think about what could’ve been. Anyways I'm glad your ordeal worked out better. Which is a huge mistake, but now is not the time for that. But you do you, man. When you invalidate someone’s feelings, it shows them that you’re not there for them. Both for you and the woman in question. Now you are in a better state, feelings and emotions flow again, and you have to re-learn how to deal with them, and it's natural that you wonder what you can genuinely trust or not. Having feelings for someone means you like their personality, want to have sex with them and would consider putting up with their baggage/irritating habits/mother to continue doing so for an indefinite amount of time. Over that now, but developed feelings (not as deep) for a girl (18) twice, only after she confessed that she has feelings for me. I think it is possible to stop having feelings for someone it’s just you have to go through this process of not talking to them not being at all interested in them you have to find another girl to get feelings for it’s gonna take a bit it’s gonna hurt but I feel like that’s the only way to stop having feelings overall just try to get yourself distracted from the main feeling Beeing asked a question which you can´t find an answer to about a problem you have to share can be quite upsetting. I've not developed feeling for a FWB ever, but I've been a FWB with a girl where we both already had romantic feelings for each other but weren't in a place to really date. borderline obsessive. If you're asking how it's possible to be attracted to someone and wanting to be with them, but not wanting to have a relationship with them, it's frequently based on a difference in your life goals or an awareness that the behavior you consider normal for a relationship would make the object of your affection hate you. Now I have a question lol is it possible for someone to give off an euphoric vibe say on a first date I went on a first date with this girl from uni yesterday, it went super well It kinda went too well is that weird? lol all my dates go this way and I been having exes that are telling me I give off some kind of vibe that is very calming ish well something along that line. In fact, work crushes end the quickest for me because people with bad work ethics annoy me. Arguing 'people exaggerate the harm this causes' can only really be responded to with 'this causes harm' - there's not a real way to compare our arguments to what 'most people think'. You need other interests. The truth is, people express feelings in different ways (and some people don’t express feelings at all). You can like someone and not be all about her. Its even worse if you were dating them then are told you just want to be friends. Trust me, you don’t want to look back on all of the girls you’ve known and think “what if”. And I don’t know if there’s long-term potential. I'm having a hard time moving on because I see her three times a week. But quite often when one person has a crush on another, whatever their relationship status is, they often cannot control that feeling no matter how hard they try. i No, feelings aren't a disease that you can catch from someone. For some it has nothing to do with love. I’ve known girls who had a guy give them flowers and the girl still thought no, he’s just being friendly. That being said, I genuinely believe some people can have sex and keep it purely physical and respectful, and I can't really object to those people fucking people who feel the exact same way. Don't put it out there that there is a disease that people get call anxious attachment whatever, dumb. I think if you’re unsure you can always just ask the other person if it’s ok to rant/vent/tell them about your anxieties. I think a 'Good' post here has quantifiable lines of disagreement and aren't about feelings, or peoples judgement of feelings. Do a check list. If you caught feelings it's because you were leaving yourself open to developing feelings. We all want to believe in eternal love and monogamie, and that's great, but reality is that people change and feelings come and go. You just gotta be 100% sure how you feel, and have a good judgment on what your relationship currently is on both ends. But yeah, attraction doesn't matter. That’s basic self hacking too, you just make yourself do it half a dozen times at a specific interval and it’s I read something on Reddit when I first started dating her that essentially captured how I fell for her. If they communicate the issues with their feelings the entire time they have them and it leads to a breakup, no one’s the asshole it’s just a shit situation. Sometimes for a while even. & if they say yes also to explain if I need advice or just validation. This gives you a chance to get everything out there in the open for yourself, so that at least you have one place that you feel you can be totally honest. That was probably the best option then, and I don't have any real complaints about how it worked out. The 'let's just be friends' line is the biggest load of crap in the dating world. 59 votes, 78 comments. "I have feelings for you" is more direct and lets the intentions be more clear. You claim it's not about you anymore, but every time someone tries to express to you that all you can do is hope she eventually trusts you again, you go on and on about how you changed. You're still happy to see them when you get together again, but it's fine if they leave for a while. Maybe there is such an expectation for some individuals, but I never felt like this is a general expectation or like I was put upon to develop feelings quickly. I get lost in my thoughts and I get such intense feelings for the person and start imagining what being with this person would feel like. I'm with my gf for 2. The second time was a few years ago. And then after breaking up with them would it be okay to immediately after start dating someone else who you were starting to get feelings for during the previous relationship. ” And just because nothing is wrong with him doesn’t mean you should sweat not feeling First of all, someone can be lonely and still respectful, doesn't have to be incel (culturally). My body just ended up rejecting them. I only end up disappointed when it doesn’t turn into something. Another I met on Reddit & he ghosted me after it became clear I wouldn't feel the same way. I'm sorry to hear about this. I've hooked up with a few friends, and my current girlfriend and I were friends for 9 years prior. I recently broke off a relationship with someone I have known since I was 16. Depending. Ask them if they have feelings for you or tell them that you do. Everybody must at some point realize this. I would advice to tell her that you have feelings and you want to not see her again, at least until you are over it. We've known each other I have feelings for my engaged friend, whose fiancé is also someone that I dearly love. I threw them up. But it is easier to move on and be friends with someone you don't have feelings for. I think when you're in a relationship, you have absolutely no business allowing yourself to catch feelings. When I started being with my boyfriend I had days and sometimes weeks I wanted my ex back so Do you want to be friends because you think she might want to date you later or do you want to be friends because you actually want her as a friend? To answer your question: Yes, you can. It seems impossible because the feelings are so strong, but you can redirect your love for her to other things. Peace and love, friend. An ethical polyamorist would either renegotiate your relationship or just end it and then pursue the other relationship. Hence why the first 2 examples are the proper responses to the situation (Not cheating 12 votes, 20 comments. I bet you feel anger and betrayal. Being attracted to them means you want to have sex with them. Know how that feels real to you: it feels just as real for other people Sometimes someone says they are cool with being friends, but they are really not. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. and you sure as hell can’t control how you feel. I'll have already brought it up before we've grown to be close friends and that'll clear things up one way or another. These feelings sound kind of. But when you catch feelings, you start to feel like you want to do everything for her. It turned into a long-distance relationship r/Crushes is a safe place for people to talk about their crushes and ask for advice. I think the difference is the intensity. So he definitely won’t give you flowers. Saying 'I like you" is quite ambiguous and although some people may use it to denote sexual/romantic interest it could also be used to express platonic affection. However, if they don’t share the same feelings (or you don’t), then How do you navigate catching feelings for someone when you're not ready for a relationship? Are you in a long-term relationship and starting to develop feelings for someone else? Here's how to stop it from becoming an emotional affair. Like another person said, it's not your fault; people who do a suicide already have an immense load and a firm feeling of wanting to end a life. also you'll ( So many people forget how fulfilled they can be adopting children. And what's more important if it was a learning process, you definitely overstepped in some cases, that's just how learning works. Ex. Respectfully decline Yeah, this exactly. Here what to do if you've lost romantic feelings for your partner. You don't have to have asked them out or have told them. It depends on what you want. I've had plenty of first dates via tinder, hinge, OKC, Bumble etc- If I don't feel a connection I I (18m) have been friend zoned by someone I was deeply in love with. If you're willing to marry someone, and you also feel stronger for that other someone, doesn't that other someone seem like a better catch? Me turning down my ex girlfriend was a huge mistake. But I have to be real here. I'm just curious. Basically, if you are asking this question because you have developed I think the difference is the intensity. In those intense questioning times, just try to breathe, relieve fears and focus on the good emotions : what makes you feel good, how do you feel right now. I wouldn’t totally give up yet, he may just have poor or lazy communication skills that have been reinforced his whole life. But if you have been losing feelings for days/weeks/months and didn’t say anything and then suddenly dump them, you’re an asshole. If your goal is “maintain the friendship”, then that’s different. I am always very talkative and make friends with almost everyone, always-have-a-common-subject Queen of SmallTalk person so even faking First of all, someone can be lonely and still respectful, doesn't have to be incel (culturally). The day I realized I have feelings for my best friend was also the day I realized nothing will happen between us. Do as much as you can reasonably do (ie not quit your job or be uncivil) to avoid looking at or talking or emailing with her. And that's okay. Love and all those other infatuation emotions comes from thinking about someone a lot. Now I have felt bad vibes about other people myself and I have avoided them because of it. and also, because of this growth, he no longer knows this part of you that has grown Are there questions you could ask that might put the person at ease? For example, “what did you mean when you said ___?” or “How are you feeling today? When you said ___, you seemed ___. Check "Community Info" in the top right corner if you're using the app, or use the old version of reddit by typing "old" in place You’ll end up miserable if you don’t learn to get over this at least a little. This is the suckiest part of dating for Maybe your not sure about him bc he is not mentally stimulating you with interesting topics, not trying to learn about you and you have to do most of the ‘work’ in the conversation. true I prefer the Stoic aproach: Memento Mori, if you have not shot your shot then it is time for you to do so. However, you can’t just “stop having feelings for someone. I have a friend who I was i do both but mostly over texting of course my conclusion can be wrong but i think she really wants your attention and most scoprio women get jealous EASILY. I baked cookies last night, and as usual, set aside a portion for him as I have been doing for months now when I bake, which he was supposed to get from me tonight after his dinner plans. I'm curious if you genuinely care about other feelings at all? I don't try to sound cold-hearted or to make me look like a If it affects me, yes. If I don’t want to get with them, I won’t. They can, definitely. Remember that the feelings you have belong to you. What factors affect this and what do you do once you realize you caught feelings? For the breakups though, I don't feel it's a "rebound" issue in that sense, but rather men like to use the rebounds as band-aids, instead of processing It means you can’t express your feelings, but they can still be there. If you don’t feel the same then let him know that. "I have feelings for you You may not have feelings, but most other people do. On the other hand you describe your relationship as very honest and open, while I've been there. They often get shut out due to people feeling bad vibes about them. You really sound like you have to keep denigrating other people’s relationships just to sleep at night. And he only messaged me a lot because he liked me, it was completely normal. that's kind of how feelings work. I mean, by all means if you think you can have fun with this dude (sex or hanging out or whatever) and he's okay with it, then there's that possibility but So like if you have suddenly lost feelings for your partner and gotten feelings for someone else is it ok to be honest and tell them you’ve lost feelings for them and break up. If you really loved your boyfriend you would drop the Alright so first you have to understand where they form and how they form. Not that I'm a party pooper or what, but just because I have known him enough to know where things stand between us. Second, not everyone is like you. Similar with autistics. edit: clarifying which vancouver edit #2: I should say that this was my third attempt at suicide in my life. My current partner started as a NSA set up after Dated for 5 years. I am always very talkative and make friends with almost everyone, always-have-a-common-subject Queen of SmallTalk person so even faking and pretending that I like someone is not a big deal Hopefully this is not too odd of a question. 4K votes, 172 comments. This isn't to say avoid love and close yourself off but do it when you're ready and with the right person. Women hide their feelings for the same reasons men might -- inappropriate feelings for someone already in a relationship, fear of getting rejected, reticence to enter a new relationship after being hurt, unsure of how strong those feelings are, all that stuff. Stfu with your capping asses. she could exactly feel that way based on how mature she is, you perhaps can tell if those mixed signals are because Especially when they start dating someone else. Haha, I have to say don't you think you putting a negative sounding name to being intensley attracted to someone is silly? If you want to be a lot colder to your approach to dating so you don't have to experience the lows then just do it. You don't necessarily get those stomach butterflies every time you kiss anymore. If I want to get with them, I’ll go for it. Communication is always key in these things. For sure. But when you hide your feelings because you fear how others will react, you end up denying your own experience. My current partner started as a NSA set up after our first Tinder date failed but eventually he started just coming over to cuddle and watch anime on nights I told him I wasn't up for sex. And even though you might choose to do other things to forget about him and have some fun. I’ll still hang out, because I still 9 out of 10 times, If you tell a guy you have a bf, he’s not gonna be that nice anymore. People might try to tell you to check with him first, but I have a feeling you know what you're dealing with here, and I also know that someone in love with someone else is already struggling not to have infinite hope about reciprocation, so you don't need anyone's Yeah, rarely do I have to turn my face back when greeting someone just to hide my expression of disgust that they came. He is poison to your system in his present state. I don't even believe in love anymore. I'd cook dinner, he'd grab groceries and do the dishes. It’s been 9 months, things change and sounds like you already know that at least on his end it has. Ultimately the only person who should tell you that they regret it is your ex, and that’s the only way you’d know it’s worth going back to. You have needs. She also mentioned that "I know feelings grow over time, but I have had deeper feelings with other men before after just 1 month". Find someone who will be thrilled to help you meet them and can actually do that. If you don’t communicate about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking it just complicates relationships (romantic and platonic) much more than if you were to be straight forward and honest I think whatever feelings he may have for you are going to do neither of you any good unless he gets into therapy and learns to manage his panicked reactions, and I think you need to avoid any further contact with him. This person is on your mind which is why you like them and will continue to like them. Even if the love you have for someone isn't reciprocated, it doesn't mean that you don't love them. But I honestly was not clear from your post which you were trying to do. Some people think you need “hints” in order to confess your feelings. He seems to have decided that you are what he wants. If your feelings suddenly vanished, there is likely something up medically. That sounds super hard and it definitely is, but you can only do things for you and make you feel better, what the other person is feeling, is not on you. You have to accept not only what you feel about someone, but that it may change, and that such changes can be You are declaring definitively and without exception that it is impossible for someone to have feelings for someone else without it being disrespect to a partner. Or so I hope anyway. What I don't see is you saying that you have developed strong feelings, that your boxes are getting checked, that you are feeling fulfilled by relationships that just aren't working out. Closeness. No relationship came out of it. It's not about how you changed. You still love your girlfriend If my feelings last more than three months then I know I have it bad and that my feelings are indeed real, not built on superficial qualities or expectations. This means falling in love turns into feeling a deeper love over time, but you can still fall in love with another person without impacting your feelings of love for the first person. On the off chance that he truly wants to be friends, I would start learning how to make a clear line between friendship and possibly cheating. If you like someone, and they dont reciprocate those feelings, pretty much the WORST thing for the likee is to remain talking and getting blue balls. We cannot control who we find interesting, etc. You have to know that going to her with them is not only going to be off putting and creepy, but she may file I also know that he has long since stopped feeling anything that was there before. It no longer feels unbearable to be parted from them. The feelings you have for your SO won't stop you from developing feelings for another. I see right through this shit. When I see his flaws and still accept them as part of his being and still want to be with him. So, my message to this sub is to SHOOT YOUR SHOT. If you’re looking for someone to tell you that she regrets it, it’s not very likely as sad as it is to hear. So me and this person have been talking to each other for months on end and we do things like say "babe" to eachother stuff like that, we're not even dating since we agreed to wait till they're ready; but I still feel horrible about telling them this because I kind of want to try a relationship with someone else now. Feelings change all the time. You get to watch someone else have what you couldn't and you'll keep asking yourself why they chose that person and not you. The solution I agree in my own experience. The only thing that I wouldn't do is 2. 5 years and even if i thought i don't love her, i didn't wanna end our relationship because I knew that It's not her fault. If not, no. i believe 90% of what you'll say will not hurt somebody else, and if it does, take the responsibility and say sorry. So here's the situation. She wants to use polyamory to justify fucking your mutual friend because she doesnt want to be labelled a slut. My best guess is that, after two years, the honeymoon period is over. You know they are, and it's a I know that everyone has different philosophies and approaches to relationships, so I ca therefore only offer thoughts While the few girls that I've been interested in have evoked the same kind of feeling but never to the point where it would be scary. The whole feelings thing is where you constantly do or buy something just so you get a small piece of that thing you want. When you'd rather not hangout with them and do something else. And if you happen to talk to a person, you might find yourself connected on a variety of levels. Invalidating someone’s feelings can also have a negative impact on their mental health. There is no rule or timeframe. Dating someone won't make you stop appreciating the beauty of others. I don’t act the way they expect, so they think something is wrong with me. Being friends with a woman you have strong feelings for sucks. People think just because they develop feelings that now that means they have to do something about those feelings!!! But why. and it will make you less sensitive and only toughen you. People will assume I am a lesbian based on the way I treat the opposite sex but I am just too loyal and honest toward that one person and if that one person finds someone else, then it is absolutely okay, but I won't stop having feelings for him until the end of time. It’s not unlike programming yourself to have a good habit. If you have some feelings for them, you can say you have no feelings for them and to expect it to go nowhere, then have one date for them, if those small amount of feelings go away then you tell them you're not into it, but if they grow you have a potential relationship. The closest I've come to feeling that is for someone who is essentially a penpal and I have to say, I'll tell you Feelings come unbidden and are a reaction that can inform our decisions. I'm not sure about the guy above but generally I'm not friends with women I have feelings for. You not wanting to hold hands-you should trust your gut feeling. That’s not to say that I would have feelings that quick - I don’t. All you can do is hope. In my experience, it is very normal for people to have feelings of closeness and affection for many people. You can also eat trash straight from the dumpster. I don't think you'd enjoy defending 'I think it's always OK to tell someone in a relationship they that you have feelings for them' either. Acknowledge your feelings, do not bury them, they are a part of the experience and a lesson to be learned "Pain is the best 242 votes, 209 comments. If you have to have a meeting call in sick. I asked out a handful of them. If you’re on the same page, then congratulations! It’s the beginning of something wonderful. It is up to us to choose how to act on those feelings. But until she says that to you, you have nothing to feel guilty/selfish about. Ask her out on a date (and make it clear you're interested in a date) - that way you make it clear that you have feelings for What you do know all along the way is that you enjoy spending time with someone and want to do more of it. It's still nice, and you still enjoy it and want to do it, but it doesn't make you tingle like it used to. I have an ex that I was with for 6 years, and neither one of us have any lingering feelings for one another. I felt that I "needed" to have someone in my life, Even if you don't express your feelings to other people, it can be very helpful, still, to express your feelings to yourself. I’ll be over here, happy knowing I’m not forced into denying parts of myself just to convince myself that my relationship isn’t weak, lmao. Unless you are in an open relationship, that's already cheating, at the very least emotionally, even if you already contemplated divorce and if nothing happened in words or acts between you two "yet". They matter. None of these are I think that previous statement in a way suggests that if you're with someone who cheats on you (after all, cheating isn't love), since that love wasn't mutual, you must have actually been infatuation with that person. They are not coming from her. There’s a toxic social norm where men are told to “man up” and expected to not be emotional or have feelings, let alone show that they do. I felt bad for feeling that way, but it got to a point where I wasn't excited about getting messages from him anymore. I found myself being really irritated with them when they were just being their normal self and it made me sad because I You don't have to have asked them out or have told them. So you're in love, but the person you're in love with is in a relationship with someone else. Either he Hope that helps. I was planning to just When you get a text from them and it makes you roll your eyes. I am a single, 35M, and I have a close friend who is a happily married, 32F. not meaning JUST sex, but a hug a kiss, a ride, hell pay for a portion of a date or the main thing is spending time with you. However normally people get over this and can be friends again. All I can say in due time all those feelings and You have to choose that you'll love that person even if there are days you think you don't have feelings for them. But unlike typical Reddit advice of “cut them off if they shoot you down”, I actually stayed friends with them. Are you confident in your feelings? Are you confident that they at least care about you as a close friend? So you say that you might have some feelings for this other guy, he seems to like you too, you're unsure what you should do, and you didn't tell anything to your husband. Arguing 'people exaggerate the harm this causes' can only really be I have developed feelings for one of my co-workers, but she already has a boyfriend. Sometimes a crush is just a passing spark and other times it blooms into something bigger and more special. Our story for how we got together was "we got drunk and fucked" because truthfully that happened. Maybe you There's two things to say here in my opinion. . This is totally understandable without understanding their reasons. Worst case is that this takes you a long time, best case she realizes that she likes you too as more then friends and breaks up with her bf. You can’t control if you develop feelings or not, you can only control what you do with those feelings. idk about what past you have with relationships, or with self-worth, but if you have had issues with those things before, those feelings could be manifesting themselves into your current relationship. It's best to accept this reality. ) If you have feelings for him, you should talk very honestly about separating the having children from the possible love you have for each other. I’d gander that one- if not the greatest- of the lessons of life is learning to accept that you cannot have what you want most. I’ve developed feelings for multiple friends through out my life. But just because you can do these things doesn’t mean you should. We dated for two years when we were teens, and then drifted off when I I was in a relationship where we both cared a lot about each other but really didn't work together. Don’t say what you think YOU think they might want to hear. I won’t soften the blow for you I’ll be realistic it will take some time. They definitely wouldnt ask after they already had someone lined up. Move on. LGBTQ+ are welcome :) We also have a Discord server. When you say "he’s very out of touch with his emotions" and you are more the type of person coming straight forward that seems to be an essential difference between the two of you. I think that's absolutely true of everyone the only difference being that INTPs are more I actually agree that all the things you listed can be part of “feelings,” especially considering that I have been in love with someone who I would absolutely not have trusted with my life and what you’re describing is far, far deeper in intimacy and sheer scope than Yes of course. I hope you have people to help you. Just telling someone "I have feelings for you" or some variation of pouring your heart out puts all the pressure on them. Treat her like a normal friend, if she misreads something, that's on her. Of course you can be friends with someone you have feelings for while in a relationship. it’s normal to have intrusive thoughts. When you find yourself waiting for conversations to end so you can do something else. But I think the reason the term I feel like theres an expectation to have this big romantic connection in just 1, 2, maybe 3, times of meeting. If one person dramatically affects your mood and emotions more than your other close friends, there’s a good chance you have romantic feelings for them. I have given lots of people bad vibes due to my social anxiety. You've given her every reason not to. it’s unhealthy to never share your negative feelings. It can make them feel like they have no one to turn to and are all alone in the world. I might sound like strange advice but if I could go back and give my younger self advice I would say " It's not worth it to be so hung up and devastated over someone who doesn't have romantic feelings back, or maybe they do but don't treat you worthy of your affection, you are worthy of someone who values you. Don't eat any of that Disney and Dhakespeare Bullshit. So really, it’s on you what you want out of him and this relationship you’re in. Poor Mental Health. To be clear, you took the initiative to explore feelings for another person while maintaining a long distance relationship with someone else. Let me tell you, if I waited for “hints”, I would have never told her how I felt. Have you ever found yourself falling for someone that you met online and chat with regularly, but have never met in real life? Yes, I met my ex (my first and only relationship) through World of Warcraft. When you first meet someone and fall for them, your love is full of constant excitement. You know when you know basically. Feelings completely lack any rationality. EDIT2: everyone saying "i have friends that are attractive and its fine, im a big adult". Now if you have feelings for someone which you can't control, that is not sin. If you don’t communicate about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking it just complicates relationships (romantic and 129 votes, 290 comments. " If someone is frequently in your bubble there's a good chance they're interested. It will destroy you inside and you will walk away at some point and they'll wonder why. Maybe your not sure about him bc he is not mentally stimulating you with interesting topics, not trying to learn about you and you have to do most of the ‘work’ in the conversation. I really think it just depends on the type of relationship you had with them, how it ended, etc. Serious answer: he gives you flowers or similar gifts. ” Questions like this could call the person in rather than calling them out because there’s space for them to communicate their feelings too. If YOU are not looking to date or start a relationship then just enjoy the fun feeling of crushing on someone, or on multiple people, and don’t think Sometimes, there really is nothing you can do about your feelings and you have to let them go, no matter how safe and comfortable they make you feel, because they deserve someone who would love them more than you ever can. they are intrusive, you can’t control them. yeah but now sounds like he wants something more. Yada yada. You may find that this isn’t just a lover’s issue. Honestly this whole road you're tempted to go down is just a huge regrettable pain in the ass and you're better off realizing you're worth being with someone who can actually be with you. She doesnt love you. You don't have them and then you do have them. So we talked Where I'm from, mental health isn't something that we discuss with our parents, with teachers, and the best therapy session you'll get is from the mid 40's hairdresser. It's about her and wether or not she trusts you. The first time i tried pills. This might seem like a good way to avoid conflict and emotional pain, but it usually comes back to bite you in the end. Then you dont want to fucking date them morons. I also try to stay mindful of how much venting I do because I know it can become a bad habit, so I try to let things out I hate that this happens to me. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW SOMEONE You don’t suddenly lose feelings. If you do and they said they had feelings for you, you'd fold so quick. Forgiving someone takes a long time and cannot be forced. The only ones I didn’t stay friends 20 votes, 26 comments. I told them look, if a guy doesn’t have feelings for you he’s going to be careful not to give you the wrong impression. The first is that it is not to try and forgive them.
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